Dirk Beretta was a character I invented some years ago in a writing example for a web forum, but somehow he just seemed to stick. I liked the idea of the tough, but not terribly smart, ex-space marine who had been inducted in some wacky religion by a crazy cult leader, fighting space weasels.
The Flaming Space Weasels wiped out most of Dirk Beretta's fellow space marines at the battle of Din Bin
Foo... then served them for lunch with a nice Merlot.
When a gang of pirate Weasels come hunting fresh meat for the kibble factories, his brand of pig-headed determination and excessive violence may offer the chance for redemption... and revenge.
Length: 7,000 words
When Royalist revolutionaries on the Planet Of The Squid hatch a plan to replace the democratic government with moronic monarchy, Dirk Beretta faces a difficult choice: can he kill his new drinking buddy to save democracy?
Length: 9,000 words
When Dirk Beretta's girlfriend tells him to get off the couch and look for a job, he finds the perfect opportunity, thousands of light years from her, with free guns and beer, as security chief for the BastadoCorp mines on the Platypus Planet.
But no-one told him what happened to the previous security chief, or that the Platypoids would rather die fighting than see their land defiled. Should he follow his new boss' orders, and nuke the jungle until it glows... or save the furry native girl with the leather bikini, and risk a messy death in Bastado's grinding machines?
Length: 12,000 words